How to Talk to Your Parent About a Writing a Will

Nobody wants to talk to their parents about writing a last will and testament. Death is a touchy subject, if not the touchiest. As humans, we spend most of our lives anxious about preventing death. The irony, of course, is that death is the only certainty in life. With this in mind, every adult should have a will.

What Does a Will Include?

• Executor Choice: A will must designate an executor. This is the person who will carry out the requests of the will. This would include filing the will to make the death official. They would also need to collect all assets and distribute them to the rightful heirs.

  
  

  Executors are usually family members, but they can also be friends, a lawyer, or a financial advisor. If an executor is not named in the will, the probate court will assign one. The best choice for an executor is someone trustworthy and organized. Financial knowledge is a plus.

  
  

• Asset Distribution: Assets include all of the person's property. Your parent's will needs to list all of their assets and who should inherit them. Houses, cars, and even businesses can be bequeathed.

  
  

  This inventory needs to include the obvious, like any real estate, but also sentimental items. Some objects, like jewelry, clothing, or toys, lack significant monetary value but hold emotional weight to certain people. If your sister has always hoped for your mom's handmade quilt from the 90s, be sure to include this wish in the will.

  
  

• Guardianship: Wills should include custody arrangements for any minor children. Likely, your aging parent doesn't have any children to worry about, but they may have a beloved pet. If Mom wants to make sure her golden retriever is cared for after her death, include it in the will. Who should get custody of the pet? Is there any money set aside for this?

  
  

What Does a Will Not Cover?

If your parent has specific funeral wishes, encourage them to leave them out of their will. Mistakenly, most people think wills should include funeral arrangement plans. Often, wills aren't read for weeks after the funeral. Wishes such as burial, cremation, or even what music should play during the service should be in a separate document.

Any will should not include non-probate assets, like insurance policies or 401(k)s. These assets already have designated beneficiaries and cannot be overridden with a will. Likewise, any jointly owned property will go to the surviving co-owner.

Also, remind your parent to not include anything impossible or illegal to enforce. Heirs cannot be forced to break the law or divorce an unsavory spouse to inherit, for instance.

How Do I Bring It Up to My Parent?

Bringing up the need for a will is a tough subject to tackle. Your parent doesn't want to be reminded of their mortality - who does? Broach the subject as you wanting to help protect their wishes. Let them know you aren't rushing to try to snatch up your inheritance. You can't honor your parents' last wishes if you don't know them.

Timing and place are important. Don't bring up the subject at a family vacation or at a holiday dinner. Nothing kills a fun mood like estate planning. Plan for no distractions - that means no young children running around and no tasks that need to be completed.

Remember, this isn't an ambush. This isn't the time to guilt your parent about the burden you'll be left with after their death. Reinforce your desire to honor their wishes. Your parent worked hard for their home, money, and other assets, and you want them to be distributed accordingly. Also, a comprehensive will promotes harmony among the survivors. No parent wants their children fighting over furniture or money.

Who Can Help Us With a Will?

You and your parent don't have to put together this intimidating legal document alone. This can be a group project! You can contact an estate planning attorney. These lawyers, sometimes called probate lawyers, specialize in end-of-life planning. Attorneys know how to handle the small details you haven't considered, like taxes. They can help you and your parent put together an iron-clad and legally binding will.

If you don't want to bring in a lawyer, there are online DIY options. This is only recommended for straightforward and uncomplicated estates. If businesses or multiple properties are involved, consider an attorney.

If your parent's assets are simple, you can use online software. FreeWill is a basic no-frills option. Other websites, like Trust&Will and LegalZoom, are more in-depth, but do charge fees.

Conclusion

Remember, you and your parent are a team in this regard. You both want the same result: a comprehensive last will. Instead of focusing on death, use this time to celebrate the lives you have shared. Securing your parents' final wishes is an act of love and respect.